As I was headed out to work this morning I happened to glance down at the spot by my back porch where all the lush ferns grow in the summer. Right now its a mess of dead fern fronds, flattened and clumped together after spending the winter buried under the snow. I got no yard work done last year before the snow fell. I glanced down and there in the middle of the brown, dead remains of last years beauty is a solitary tulip, green and determined, straining, pushing and slowing making its way to the sun. It made me smile. Determined little tulip, reaching for the sun inspite of the mess piled on top of it. Inspite of how hard it is and all the obstacles in the way, its determined to reach its goal. It truly is spring at last. Nature is amazing, she goes where she wants, pushes through even the most impossible places to grow, and be what she means to be.( I wish now, I had replaced the tulip and daffodil bulbs that got killed off two winters ago. I love tulips and daffodils. Must put that on my list for this fall.)
I need to get out in the yard and get it cleaned up. Leaving it last year was really a silly move on my part. Maybe tomorrow I will have the ummph to get out and at least rake a little. Tonight I am tired and my legs ache. I am proud that I did my 3 kms. I walked most of it totally alone, I imagine everyone else was out in the lovely spring weather but I prefer the indoor track. I am especially pleased that I did not talk myself out of doing the entire thing. No one was there to see if I did it or not, but I did. No cheating on myself. Part of me wanted to so badly, the part that hates to exercise, sweat and hurt. I ignored her and hauled my butt around that track. GO ME!!!
I feel like its helping. My body wobbles and jiggles and ripples more than it used to. So I feel it, I cannot see it. I wish I could but I look in the mirror and the image that looks back at me is the same. Part of me says why bother, no gain, what is the point but there is a point. I started walking and all I could do was three trips round the tack, and I hurt. Now I do 18 and yes I still hurt but I have gained the 15 extra rounds. It is making a difference, and I need to cling to that.
One of my many many faults is I want instant gratification, I want results, I want it all now dammit!! Minimal effort and maximum result, what is wrong with that?? Well my life is not like that as much as I would like it to be. So I will take a leaf from Mother Nature's book. I will be like the tulip in my back yard, I will keep pushing and pushing until I hit the sunshine!!
Toodles
Linda
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