Sigh, the big day has come and gone. I am back home safe and sound with lots if new memories. Lots happy, some sad and now I am wrestling with that sinking feeling that its work tomorrow and reality will come back with a horrible thump. Blah
Tater Tot made our Christmas. Wrapping paper flew, little squeals and giggles and pronouncements of "WOW" made it all the better. The Wee Girl arrived later on and dazzled us with sweet smiles and baby squeaks. Little ones do make the holiday.
Its so nice to be with family at Christmas, and I am ever and always grateful to the Carpenter and Busy that they include me in the festivities. My heart was also with the Historian's family, their Christmas' will never be the same again. He is gone and things have changed. Firsts are so hard.
I will post again later and maybe share a photo or two of the holidays. Right now I am tired, a little hungry and a little sad that the fun is over. I am back on my own and work will not wait. Sigh.
I hope everyone had as wonderful a Christmas as they possibly could.
Toodles,
Linda
Monday 28 December 2015
Thursday 17 December 2015
Today I Cry
Tears are running down my cheeks and my heart is hurting. I have just finished reading the obituary for my beloved oldest brother. No fair, its too soon, it should not have happened. I cannot believe that he is gone. Its just does not seem right.
We have no say in these things, we do not get to decide and as much as I hate it sometimes I have come to believe that things in life happen as they are supposed to and there is a reason for it. This does not mean I don't take some time to rage at the situation. I do, I hate the fact that so many people who were dear to me are gone but I also try to accept and move on. Nothing to be gained by being bitter, just be thankful you had them for the time that you did.
I will miss him terribly. Another much loved member of my family gone but I want to celebrate the fact that I got to have my good brother for the time that I did. There is a poem in his obituary that encourages those who are left to mourn his passing, to not be bitter and sad but celebrate him and be glad he was a part of our lives. Its lovely.
You can shed tears that he is gone,
or you can smile because he has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that he'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all he's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see him,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember him only that he is gone,
or you can cherish his memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
or you can do what he'd want:
Smile, open your eyes, love and go on.
-David Harkins
There is 13 years difference in our ages, the Historian and I. He graduated from high school in June and I started to grade one the same year. We really did not grow up together but he was always an important piece of my life.
I will miss our weekly phone calls. I will miss hearing the pride in his voice as he passed on stories about his grandchildren. One very fond memory of him is watching him do a happy shuffle dance in my dining room the day he found out he was going to be a Grandpa for the first time. I will miss hearing the family history discoveries and I will even miss the "I got no news but just wanted to touch base". I resent the deafness that stole the last few conversations we may have had but I treasure the text messages that took their place.
He was a good man, loving and supportive to his family and friends. crusty and stubborn at times but that is a family trait. On the whole one of the better ones. He was a good brother to me. Always concerned that I was ok. He showed this in a hundred little ways and I loved him for it. Making sure I called when I got home from a visit with him. Reprimanding me when I failed to text frequently enough while on holiday out of the province or out of the country. So many other little ways, I could never name them all. He gave me my first Barbie doll and my first nephew and niece. Now he is gone and all these memories are all the more precious.
He will be missed but oh I am all the richer for having him in my life.
Love much Big Bro!!
Sis
We have no say in these things, we do not get to decide and as much as I hate it sometimes I have come to believe that things in life happen as they are supposed to and there is a reason for it. This does not mean I don't take some time to rage at the situation. I do, I hate the fact that so many people who were dear to me are gone but I also try to accept and move on. Nothing to be gained by being bitter, just be thankful you had them for the time that you did.
The Historian and me
I will miss him terribly. Another much loved member of my family gone but I want to celebrate the fact that I got to have my good brother for the time that I did. There is a poem in his obituary that encourages those who are left to mourn his passing, to not be bitter and sad but celebrate him and be glad he was a part of our lives. Its lovely.
You can shed tears that he is gone,
or you can smile because he has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that he'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all he's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see him,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember him only that he is gone,
or you can cherish his memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
or you can do what he'd want:
Smile, open your eyes, love and go on.
-David Harkins
There is 13 years difference in our ages, the Historian and I. He graduated from high school in June and I started to grade one the same year. We really did not grow up together but he was always an important piece of my life.
The Historian off to his grad ,
I got to stay home with the Carpenter and Grandma.
He was a good man, loving and supportive to his family and friends. crusty and stubborn at times but that is a family trait. On the whole one of the better ones. He was a good brother to me. Always concerned that I was ok. He showed this in a hundred little ways and I loved him for it. Making sure I called when I got home from a visit with him. Reprimanding me when I failed to text frequently enough while on holiday out of the province or out of the country. So many other little ways, I could never name them all. He gave me my first Barbie doll and my first nephew and niece. Now he is gone and all these memories are all the more precious.
The Carpenter, the Historian and Me.
Now we are two.
Love much Big Bro!!
Sis
Monday 7 December 2015
Christmas Time's A Comin"
So I have the house looking rather festive, Santa's are parading up and down the stairs, snowmen have popped up all over and there is a cute little village, newly sprung up on the buffet.
I still have one more piece to complete the nativity. It may wait until next year when there is more cash for such things. This year, not so much.
I will share more pictures when I am finished with the decorating.
The trees came out of the basement and will get decorated tomorrow, as will the veranda. I am only doing two trees this year, and all the Santas did not get out this year. I don't always put everything out every year. I also plan to do a purge on the Christmas decorations this year, when I put stuff away. I will have more time then. The dining room tree is on the dining room table. I have a feeling that Lucy and Desi will find a tree just a big toy and I am not home all day. On the table it stands a better chance of survival. I will not need the table for meals over the Christmas season.
I miss the big family Christmas's we used to have, aunts, uncles. grandparents. Times change and those things don't happen anymore. I get a little nostalgic at this time of year. I miss the smell of my Mom's kitchen as she prepared for the big day. I miss smells, sights and feelings of my childhood. Cold linoleum floors, real Christmas trees, tons of silver tinsel and nuts in the shell. Christmas specials on tv with Andy Williams, Dean Martin and Perry Como. The local general store staying open one night late and getting to go with Mom. So different and decadent. Going to the big city to see the store window displays. So many warm and wonderful memories. School Christmas concerts and the agony of waiting for Santa.
Its different now, It will be a joy to watch the littles at Christmas time. New memories and new rituals to make and enjoy. With two new little ones in the family the whole thing will change. They will bring new life to the event. I am happy beyond measure that I am getting to be a part of it. To watch them and be there as they experience Christmas.
So I am making lists and cookie dough. Decorating, crafting and soon wrapping presents. Even though for the last two days I have felt that everything I touched I screwed up. So frustrating! I pitched a temper tantrum which accomplished and changed nothing, so I am forging on. This black cloud of bad luck will take itself off somewhere soon and things will get back to normal.
I am also doing a reverse advent calendar for myself this year. From December 1st to the 25th I will find something each day to give away. That will be 25 things (or more) gone from my house. I got the idea from another blog ournewlifeinthecountry.blogspot.ca and I thought the idea was marvelous. The Banker, Teddy Bear and KitKat and I are all in on it. That will be 100 items off the the charity shop come the new year. Its a baby step but its a start.
More purging to come in the new year!!
Toodles
Linda
I still have one more piece to complete the nativity. It may wait until next year when there is more cash for such things. This year, not so much.
I will share more pictures when I am finished with the decorating.
The trees came out of the basement and will get decorated tomorrow, as will the veranda. I am only doing two trees this year, and all the Santas did not get out this year. I don't always put everything out every year. I also plan to do a purge on the Christmas decorations this year, when I put stuff away. I will have more time then. The dining room tree is on the dining room table. I have a feeling that Lucy and Desi will find a tree just a big toy and I am not home all day. On the table it stands a better chance of survival. I will not need the table for meals over the Christmas season.
I miss the big family Christmas's we used to have, aunts, uncles. grandparents. Times change and those things don't happen anymore. I get a little nostalgic at this time of year. I miss the smell of my Mom's kitchen as she prepared for the big day. I miss smells, sights and feelings of my childhood. Cold linoleum floors, real Christmas trees, tons of silver tinsel and nuts in the shell. Christmas specials on tv with Andy Williams, Dean Martin and Perry Como. The local general store staying open one night late and getting to go with Mom. So different and decadent. Going to the big city to see the store window displays. So many warm and wonderful memories. School Christmas concerts and the agony of waiting for Santa.
Its different now, It will be a joy to watch the littles at Christmas time. New memories and new rituals to make and enjoy. With two new little ones in the family the whole thing will change. They will bring new life to the event. I am happy beyond measure that I am getting to be a part of it. To watch them and be there as they experience Christmas.
So I am making lists and cookie dough. Decorating, crafting and soon wrapping presents. Even though for the last two days I have felt that everything I touched I screwed up. So frustrating! I pitched a temper tantrum which accomplished and changed nothing, so I am forging on. This black cloud of bad luck will take itself off somewhere soon and things will get back to normal.
I am also doing a reverse advent calendar for myself this year. From December 1st to the 25th I will find something each day to give away. That will be 25 things (or more) gone from my house. I got the idea from another blog ournewlifeinthecountry.blogspot.ca and I thought the idea was marvelous. The Banker, Teddy Bear and KitKat and I are all in on it. That will be 100 items off the the charity shop come the new year. Its a baby step but its a start.
More purging to come in the new year!!
Toodles
Linda
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