Its Just a Cat

That is what people say.... its just a cat and I think I may have even said it myself. I know that when I got a cat and I was living on my own, I tried to tell myself I would not be one of "those people" that talk to and about their cat, who just go over the top about there precious babies. Well I may not have gone totally over the top but they did become far more important to me than I ever thought could happen. And I did the best I could to make sure they were cared for and loved.

If you did not know it before just how important they are is driven sharply home when the Vet starts using words like tumor, lots of pain, can't open her mouth properly to eat and you realize that you have to make that decision. THE DECISION that you never want to make for your baby. Thankfully, my baby had 19 good, spoiled, pampered years before this happened. She did not let me know she was in pain. She did not complain, she was thin but I put that down to age. She purred, let me pet her and rub her face, she had some swelling but I thought it was maybe her teeth, She was old, bad teeth were possible.

Nope, cancer and I could not stand to think of her in pain. On Thursday, we said goodbye. I stayed with her until she took her leave, so she would know that she was not alone. It broke my heart but it was the kindest thing, in my opinion.  So no more listening to that tractor like purr, no more gentle pats on my leg when someone needs some attention and I am on the computer, no more warm little body curled into the small of my back while I read in bed. No more belly rubs being demanded, no more death glares when I am not doing as she wants. No more laying on my hip while we nap together on the couch. No more trotting to the door to welcome me home and no more nose bumps. Sigh. I miss her

Yes there is no more hair all over the house, no more stepping in kitty barf in my bare feet, no more litter box to deal with but those things mean nothing. I would rather still have her. The house feels strangely empty without her little presence. Its the first time since I have lived in this house there is no cat in residence. Its not the same, my house and my life are missing a very important part. Just a cat..............be serious.

Minou