Feeling A Bit of a Failure

I may have mentioned in the past I am not overly fond of the month of March. I am not, not fond for many reasons. It has been the month in which some lovely, wonderful and important people in my life have passed away. I am sure its not the month's fault, its just when these things have happened and I find I have lost any fondness I ever had for this particular month. I dread its arrival and cannot wait for it to be done. The weather is unpredictable and its just generally not the best month for me.

March also seems to be a month in which if I am going be short of cash, it is the one in which I am the shortest. I should have gone to two out of town funerals this month, I will be attending neither for a lot of reasons. Short staffing at work so its hard to get away, month end so its super busy, and when you pay up all the outstanding bills, you have little to no money to do anything else. There are several other reasons that need not be shared on a public forum. I feel badly because I was not and  I am not going to be there to pay my respects, give my support and I feel like once again I have failed.

Failed to do what should be done. Failed to give back some of the many wonderful blessings, support and care that I have received in my life. One day, one day I will not have these issues. I will be able to do what I dearly wish to do when it needs to be done and there will not be a hundred little things in the way. Someday.

I did manage to get some things done that I had planned to this weekend. I managed to finish a puppet order. Three caterpillars and three butterflies.

It was a bit of a bug filled weekend at my house. I am glad to have this order finished. I have another for seven animals for a school, which I will start on this coming week.

I finally filed my income tax. I also have things caught up bill wise. Not sure how things got so mucked up but its unmucked now and that is the most important thing.  I have made the lunch things again which as I have said before may sound like a no brainer but I can talk myself out of these things so easily. I have even been thinking I may start to bake my own bread again. Four to five dollars a loaf, hurts ones feelings and homemade is so good. It makes the best toast ever. Laundry is all caught up and once I get to the post office I will feel like I am on an even keel again for at least a little while.

The dumpsters are finally out of the ice and I can wheel them out to the lane at last. I have been storing excess garbage in the compost bin as I have not been able to move the dumpsters for a couple of months now. I was grateful I had the compost bin. This week I shall have managed to get all the garbage away. I should try to figure out some solution for next year. a pallet perhaps to keep them out of the low spot. I will think on it. I have three whole seasons to come up with an idea.

Tomorrow its back to work and back to covering two case loads. I will be glad for April, The frantic need to use up the last of the holidays will be done and hopefully I will be able to just deal with my case load for a while. Two is hard to do at the best of times and I have had to be doing this for a rather long time now, what with sick leave and vacation time for my work buddy. I will be happy happy after this week, then I get to use some of my vacation time.

Toodles,
Linda