Both of my babies took their leave of me, left this life together and moved on to the next, leaving me behind, heartbroken but comforted that they are together. They arrived together, stayed together, had spent many many years together so it makes sense that they would move on together.
Desi had not been himself for a while, not eating much, drinking very little and sleeping on the floor. I thought it maybe the heat, or a virus or a mood, I was not sure. I hoped he would perk up and I tried to do what I could to make him feel cooler and know that he had someone who was watching him. I trimmed his incredible fur and made sure I gave him some extra love and attention for which I was rewarded with that magnificent purr. Lucy had been showing her age lately. Having trouble to jump up, sort of hobbling when she got up, not too steady on her pins. I'm the same way so I just figured we are aging.
On Wednesday morning when I got downstairs I found her on the floor in the doorway at the base of the stairs. She could not get herself up and when I picked her up she was soaked on the one side. Poor little thing had peed and then was laying in it. I grabbed a towel, wrapped her up and put her on the work table I have in the living room
I put my left hand under her head to keep her head up and then dried her off with my right hand. She wrapped her little paw around my wrist and literally clung to me.
Little heart going a mile a minute, obviously scared because she did not know what was going on and why her body would not do what she wanted it to. I did not know if she was dying, having a seizure of some sort or what. So I wrapped her up like a baby, laid her on my chest and we snuggled for about an hour and a half while I tried to decide what to do.She calmed right down and purred but still every once in a while trying to move.
I always promised them that I would not see them suffer. I looked for Desi and he looked like he was sleeping on the floor in the kitchen. He is a pretty content, laid back cat and does not startle easy unless you are thunder. So I quietly gathered Lucy up and and we headed out the front door to the Vet.
My feisty little princess hissed at the nurse and tried to pull away from the Dr during her examination. She was always grouchy with others but not with me. With me she was super sweet and loving, could never get enough pets and snuggles. Spunky to the end she let them know she did not want them touching her. She was once again scared and stressed, struggling to be her old self. I have to say it is a powerful feeling to know that it is your touch, and your voice that has the power to sooth, comfort and calm. Poor little girl, but as I stroked her head, and talked to her she calmed and relaxed.
The Vet felt she had had a stoke and that it was time to say good bye. I had already known that would be the outcome. So we let her go. I stayed with her to the very end. I wanted her last minutes to be as calm as could be and I wanted her to know she was loved. We said our good bye and I came home alone.
When I came in the back door Desi was still on the kitchen floor, all stretched out and peaceful looking. I informed him that he had better perk up because I was not prepared to do this again so soon. I leaned down to give him some love, fully expecting that big purr but he was already stiff and cold. He must have passed at some point in the night. Two at once, My heart could not stand it but stand it I must, I had no choice.
My beautiful gentle giant, my big man with the best purr in the world was gone. Not more naps together on the couch,
no more getting yelled at in the morning because breakfast was not already in his bowl before he thought he needed it. no more loving looks from the couch while I sit in my chair.
No more head butts for attention, No more being greeted by two furry little faces after work and then fussing over them as they jockey for attention. No more fighting to work on a quilt as these two knuckleheads sprawl all over it.
No more unconditional love and endless entertainment. Only a wealth of memories and comfort that they are together.
Lucy always slept upstairs with me. but while Desi was feeling not himself she would come up but after a few minutes, leave me and head back down to be near him. I think she knew something was up. I also think that when he died, she tried to come upstairs to me but had her stroke before she could get there. While they were not complete love bugs with each other, they had been together for a long time.
I will miss these two so very much. Desi, with his big size, his beautiful face and massive paws.
I loved those starfish feet!!
His beautiful orange fur that coated every inch of this house.
I will regret forever I never got his Viking helmet made. He would have been so cute in Viking horns
I will miss Lucy, petite, sleek and black as coal with those beautiful green eyes.
I will miss her demands for attention, that tiny paw reaching out for me. Look at me Mama, stop knitting and love ME!!
Her never being able to have enough love or attention. For the way she would drape herself over my head after I had my hair done. That girl loved herself some hair product!!
I will even miss her penchant for shoving her little bum in my face when I tried to sleep. The way she could steal most of the bed inspite of her tiny size. Her ability to let me know when I have stepped over the line of her tolerance with just a look
The heartbreak I feel now is payment for the happiness I have had. So much love and joy in the years I had them. They were frustrating and maddening too but the good out weighs the bad. It was all worth it to have had them in my life. I did the best I could for them, to give them a good life and make them content. They paid me back ten times over. I will miss them more than I can say.
Toodles,
Linda
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