Molehills all around!!

I think I have touched on this before but its my blog so I get to talk about it again, One of my greatest talents is taking a molehill and turning it into the biggest mountain. I am working on changing that but its hard work and its just such an easy pattern to fall into. Right now its weeding. If I just went out and did a little each day it would be done but I roll it over in my mind so much, it grows out of proportion and then I do nothing. Its so useless and anti productive and I know that. Do I stop doing it??? Nope

It took me nearly a month to get my butt into the basement to open the window and start a fan running down there not to mention turning on the water to the outside tap. Now I have to work up to going back down there to shut the damn fan off. Sigh. It also took me the longest time to start on trimming the trees at the back. It had gotten so I could not properly see when I was backing the car out. Fear of a car crash got me out there.

That branch hanging by the car smacked me in the face almost every time I got into the car. At long last I finally got out there with the loping shears, the clippers and a saw and took a round out of them. It took no time at all but I was sweating like a rented mule by the time I was finished,

Now at least I don't have to take my life in my hands to get into the alley. There are lots more trees to be trimmed, weeds to be pulled and just general maintenance to be done, I know I could ask someone to do it for me, pay someone even but I feel its just such a little space I should do it on my own. Round and round I go in a vicious cycle.

Its also been so hot and humid here, it just does me in . It wreaks havoc with my pain levels, I hate being hot and sweaty. My hot flashes are off the chart, I an just a hot sweaty mess. Have I whined enough? Is anyone besides me sick of listening to this?? Why can't it be as easy to go a new direction as it is to keep going down the path you are on?? Who decided this nonsense?All I can do is try to keep plugging along, ignore the fatigue, ignore the pain and keep on keeping on. 

Good news is  I got my car fixed as the alternator needed to be replaced. I need my car so its money well spent. Hmmm lets see what else can I complain about??? I may be running out of things.

Today my legs are aching like a bad toothache and that is not making me happy at all. Oh my goodness I am cranky today. So I need to stop, I need to find something to do that makes me happy, and I need to call an end to this pity party. Its gone on far to long, I think I need to put myself into a time out.

Toodles

Linda

Back on Track ..... well I'm working on it

Ok I will admit I am  struggling a little with getting back into the swing of things, Mostly I just want to stay in my bed or sit in my chair and let the world go by. This is normal for me when I have had to deal with a hurting heart. I am working through it, working against the urge to totally shut down and am making myself just keep moving. I'll get through it, I always do. Get over it and get on with it. 

So things have been going on around here. I bit the bullet and got my back sidewalk fixed. Every year in the spring it develops a nice thick sheet of ice that gives me a panic about slipping and falling. That I do not need so I decided to use some credit and get something done with it. 

Before:

The old sidewalk was so narrow at the end of it and it has sunken very badly. It is just an all around pain to get my old lady grocery cart down it. Thankfully Teddy Bear knew a good handy man who is reasonable and I got him to do this.

Its the backyard boardwalk!! I love it. Its wider, its a ramp and it makes walking out to my car so much easier. The raised walk will allow the water to drain away under it and I will not have to be walking on a sheet of ice every fall and spring.  Another plus is I will no longer have to lift my old lady grocery cart up and over the steps. Win Win Win!!

I should not have afforded it right now but I just wanted it done. I am tired of getting my cane and my  cart tangled in the plants by the fence and constantly trying to trip myself. So instead of saving up for it I will take that money and put it on the line of credit. Shingles and the sidewalk are plenty to have done on the house this year. The other disasters can wait til another year.

What else have I got done??? I made myself a Canada Day Maple Leaf table runner. I am late for getting to use it this year but I am ready for next year. I am really happy with the way it turned out

The Nurse got married this past weekend! It was a small, intimate ceremony that was truly lovely. I'm so happy for her, She deserves some good things happening in her life at the moment.

Yesterday and today I undertook getting my pictures organized for scrapbooking, I ordered up the pictures I needed to bring me up to date. I made a new month by month list since I have somehow managed to lose my scrapbooking note book. I am still hoping with all my heart that I find the fool thing. It has all sorts of important stuff in it, I am so annoyed. How I manage to do this is beyond me but I do. I actually have a list on my phone of things I have lost in this house. Its amazing

I have about three pages in last years book to finish and then get some embellishments. I really need to get myself a printer. So many things on the want list. (that!s right Mom, I never change. always wanting more)  The printer has been on the list for forever but I just have not gotten around to actually getting it. 

I am back to making puppets. Princess Diva has suggested I send some of my puppets to a craft store in Saskatchewan. She knows the people that run it and she is sending some of her beautiful mosaic stars, Her mom is sending stuff so I am going to box up the left overs from my last craft sale and give it a go. I had no turtles on hand and as they have historically proven to be an awesome seller. I am making 6 to send along. I want to make two porcupines because they too sell well. Nothing ventured nothing gained. If nothing sells, its ok and if they do its money in my pocket. Its been awhile since I made puppets and I actually had to get my pattern book out to remind myself of some of the details of what to do with them, So far I have three turtles completed.

Today I stopped at a local veg stand and got myself some new potatoes, new peas and a small basket of Saskatoon berries. I am excited for supper tonight. New potatoes are such a treat. 

That is it for now. I need to go get myself some lunch and then get working on my puppets as I need to have them all ready to leave for parts unknown in August.  I am rooting for lots of sales!!

Toodles

Linda

Sunday Stuff

I was out front the other day and noticed this brave little flower, blooming for all it was worth in the absolute sea of weeds that have sprung up in the spit where my lilacs were. One small spot of beauty. A gift from the birds no doubt but it made me smile

Since this picture was taken there have been more blooms come and go. It makes me happy. The weeds not so much. Its been horribly hot and humid here so I have not gotten out to deal with them. Now the mosquitoes are incredible, clouds and clouds of them which makes outside work impossible for this old gal. The weeds can have there way for now. I hope the City will fog soon.

Currently I have lost a note book. |Its important, I keep scrapbooking stuff in it and I have no idea where it has gotten to. I am hoping it will turn up and not go the way of my craft task book. That one has gone and never resurfaced. I am thinking 'I have tucked it somewhere thinking it was a good idea at the time and it will be ages before I see it again. Sigh, when will I learn?

No plans for today. I have been managing to get some stuff done this week. Jobs that have been put off for far too long. For example my back door and upstairs wood work are fingerprint free for the first time in years. Still have not made it to the basement but all in good time.

All things in good time

Toodles

Linda

Picking up Broken Pieces

Its been a while since I posted. I have had one of those life events that comes from seemingly out of the blue, knocks your world upside down and then you need to gather up the broken pieces and carry on. My oldest nephew died. Just 49 years old and he is gone. This is not how things should be, it goes against the natural order of things but as always we don't get a lot of say in when the people we love take their leave of this world. 

I knew he was ill, I knew that health wise he struggled the last few years but I thought he was getting a handle on it all with the help of his doctors and that he would be here for some time. Certainly longer than my time. We all know not every story has the happy ending and the demons he fought won the day.The Bastards took him from us.

My heart grieves the most for his only child. Both parents gone now and while legally she is a adult, she is still a child herself. Thankfully she has her Grandma, who has been a constant for her for a long time. Our side of the family is not well known to her for a million reasons, not worth going into now. I just hope Grandma is here for some time yet for this sweet girls sake.

So yes in the day to day bread and butter details of life, his death will not cause a great ripple effect for me. We were in touch via text but not really frequently. I had not laid eyes on him for at least four years. That being said there has been a great big hole punched in the fabric of my  being,  A hole that will never be mended. It joins the others. I will always miss him. He was the first. So many firsts we shared, he and I. I loved him from before he was born and will never stop. I hate that he is gone from us. HATE IT

Now I am picking up pieces, getting on with life. My heart hurts. 

Linda